either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
