Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
