Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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