you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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