That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
