Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
i believe in u and ur pee
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
