I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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