Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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