why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
