You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I had to cum in my sink.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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