You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize