the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize