I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
