You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
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