Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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