I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize