I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
