Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
