Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
