The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
