Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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