Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
