I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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