We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
