I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
