in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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