i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
