I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
