i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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