I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
