you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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