You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
