dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
