And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You peed on a flamingo?!?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
