I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize