my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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