Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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