how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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