Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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