just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
