I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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