I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
