I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
