for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I want to fling myself into the sun
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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