I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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