Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Sorry my hands just texted you
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
