It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Never joke about your clitoris.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
