And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
