I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize