Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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