I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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