is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
