Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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