Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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