I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
