just come out here and I will go home with you...
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
