Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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