My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
