There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
