Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
