they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
