I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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