you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
