oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize