Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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