Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
