told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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