This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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