come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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