and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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